Added: Chelle Moultry - Date: 08.11.2021 14:59 - Views: 33700 - Clicks: 1064
Louise Bridge was enjoying getting to know a new contact via online dating when he suddenly requested they start sexting. This was a kind of postcard equivalent I took at face value. They were pretty standard: one was a beach view and the other was of me standing on the deck of a boat in a T-shirt and shorts. There was nothing suggestive about either. They were holiday-happy moments to give a sense of how much I loved where I was. I was completely thrown. Still, I found myself thinking it best to be light-hearted in my initial response. We needed to see first if we entertained each other on screen or phone and then, based on that, to decide whether to meet.
I was horrified, then horrified to be horrified. I like men.
I like confident men. Sometimes I like those who risk pushing boundaries in this careful age. But I deleted this one and our correspondence.
The notable thing was how uncomfortable I felt about doing so. Several of the single female friends I told echoed my scenario. Three or four of them, all in their 40s, came up with related if not identical examples, one saying she was always being asked, though not necessarily as the criterion on whether to meet.
The intimation was clear. But my experience is that the faces on the app are often of people using dating sites. Were there numerous women who would have obliged? But the assumption and presumption of this episode meant it was how I felt now. My consternation was increased by the fact that Tinder directs its users, often, to friends of friends. This man had been in that category. Knowing that someone we know knows the person had given me a misplaced sense of security.
A lot has been made of the dangers among generations X and Y of sharing images that are explicitly short-lived and self-deleting. The mechanism can heighten the pressure on what to depict. Sexting is so widespread it no longer needs inverted commas.
But the request by a stranger of my own generation felt in its way more shocking, though I am not sure it is. Is it right to expect anything different from a member of a generation not brought up with it? I wonder whether, in middle age, my online route to dating is for others an end in itself. There is no need to meet. It feels important to say how unsexy I found the whole request.
It spoke of not venturing beyond a computer, or depressingly of using that fact to justify their behaviour.
Cybersex before meeting? Louise Bridge.
Sat 5 Nov Rejection is built into online dating. Politeness should be too Keren Levy. Tinder: the shallowest dating app ever? Reuse this content.In cybersex chat for 1 week
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