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It's a common thing in the restaurant industry, and the better the restaurant, the more you have to remain quiet about it thanks to the power chefs have over a cook's future career path. At least with a personal relationship, you can pack up your stuff and walk away, most likely with no effect on your next relationship.
I on the other hand always have had to deal with my psycho ex-boss as as I list his restaurant on my. And I have to; it was a ificant chunk of time and I had a huge role in his success. Fortunately he didn't succeed in sabotaging me with my new boss, who decided to hire me anyway on the strength of that success, but I still only have a negative job reference to show for my efforts.
Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath for a thankyou. At base, adults are ultimately responsible for their own behavior. At some point, there is a choice to be made, fucked up chemistry or not: do you want to be a hurricane, constantly leaving a trail of carnage for someone to clean up All. Sometimes, the only way for that person to finally perceive this choice is for the people around them to leave. If it were up to me, I would not stay. I wish it could have been as easy as that for my line of work. It's been a few weeks now and I'm still trying to shake off the effects.
It's perfectly possible to someone who can't do right by you, but the safest way to do that is from afar. Bipolar disorder is a disease dangerous to everyone around it, and often works in cahoots with all sorts of emotional incompetence and substance. It can't be treated without both firm committment and professional intervention.
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