Looking for that right guy

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There are a lot of broken hearts out there. People go into relationships believing if they date someone, they will be happy and eventually find the right person and live happily ever after. However, somewhere along the road to finding Mr. Right, all kinds of things go wrong. One reason why so many girls get their hearts broken is that they date the wrong guys. Often, they jump in without any idea as to who this guy really is. Sadly, most of the time they do not. The odds are stacked against them. Before I started dating I made a list. I know it sounds corny but I made a list of the things that a guy would have to do or be to date me.

Every young woman should have a list of qualities they want in a guy they date. I have heard of a lot of girls who died inside or had their hearts broken because they dated the wrong guy. The Secret Behind a Healthy Relationship. What can you do? And then I will tell you 4 important things needed to give a relationship a good foundation. These 8 things all point to important characteristics you should be looking for. Everybody has a reputation, including the person who has just asked you out.

Talk to people who know him and that will help you see the real him. Look at how he has been in past relationships like has this person cheated? Kiah Unless he has had a radical change in his life, if he has cheated on other people, he is likely to cheat on you.

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Talk to your most trusted friends about him. They can also help you. They can ask his friends about who this guy really is. Your friends will almost always tell you the honest truth, even if it hurts. There are no deeper thoughts or values than those that come from our spiritual being. What we believe spiritually will tell us a lot about our values and how we look at our world.

Without agreeing on spiritual beliefs, most relationships will crumble. Our spiritual beliefs also are a guide to what we are morally. What we are morally will affect every area of our life. That is why you should find out what his moral beliefs are. By respectI mean the willingness to show consideration or appreciation. All of us want to be appreciated and be shown consideration. Lack of respect will destroy a relationship faster than just about anything else. Without real respect, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship.

One of the ways you can find out whether or not he will show you respect is how he treats others. For example, Katie advised, [Does he] respect his mom? You could ask other questions about your potential date. How does he treat his sister?

But also, look at how he treats inferiors.

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Bottom line — only date a guy who treats you with respect. You will show yourself, and the world, you respect yourself. No relationship can last without trust because trust is the foundation of all relationships. Trust is something that is earned. Can you trust him to treat you with respect? Protect your safety? Not take advantage of you? Speak well of you? Tell you the truth?

Be faithful to you? To be with your family? To be at a party with?

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To confide in? These and other questions are extremely important. I think that the most important thing for a girl to look for in a guy is honesty. Love is about serving, giving, honoring, putting the other before self, wanting the very best for someone else, In other words, the best relationships are between two people, both of whom are givers, not takers.

When two needy people get together, there is just not enough giving and not enough sacrificial love to go around. The foundation for a strong relationship is when some fundamental things are settled before you get started…like already knowing that you are loved, already knowing you have tremendous worth and valueand already knowing there is a great purpose and plan for your life. If you are desperate to get those things from a boyfriend or girlfriend, then there is a high probability you are going to be hurt, disappointed, and maybe even cheated on.

Those qualities knowing you are loved, a sense of self-worth, and sense of purpose are things you get from other relationships with family, with friends, and from God. That is not an easy thing to get your head around, but it works something like this: The worse guys to date are those who are looking for girls who will worship them day and night. Stay away from those guys. It is almost always going to turn out badly. The best guys are turned off by girls whose only interest is in their boyfriend.

No outside interests, no passions, no dreams except for the guy she is dating. That is more than a turn-off, that is downright terrifying for a lot of guys. On the other side of the balancing scale, guys are less interested in girls who are so caught up in their own worlds, they have little time for them as a boyfriend. Figuring out how to be strong individuals who also have a strong connection with each other is what puts concrete into the foundation of a relationship.

Here is a little paradox. And he may not be looking for you either. What I mean is that two people are focused on building their own lives and pursuing their own dreams. One day a guy like that looks around and notices a girl with her own dreams, ambitions, and pursuits. They are attracted to each other physically, but they also have a deep connection, admiration, and affection for one another. That is the kind of relationship worth waiting for. Photo Credit: Vitor Pinto. You are the boss of yourself and you let him know that.

Its so true, I have always been one that thought I always needed a guy in my life to be happy, and all I ever got were one night stands, break up after breakup, been stolen from and used and then it finally went to being physically and emotionally abused.

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I was so caught up that I needed someone to make me happy. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Life is Messy. And without support, many lose hope that things will ever get better. We want you to know that you are NOT alone.

Founded over 25 years ago by youth speaker and radio host, Dawson McAllister, we have heard the struggles people face and learned how to offer life-changing support. Our mission is to reach, rescue and restore those who are broken and hopeless. We encourage people in the midst of their struggles by providing clear thinking and right values. If you are in need of immediate help. Dialor call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1. Comments ayesha, never let a guy do anything to you that you dont feel comfortable with. Are You Afraid to Be Single? Friends with Benefits.

Sex and Dating — Frequently Asked Questions. TheHopeLine Founded over 25 years ago by youth speaker and radio host, Dawson McAllister, we have heard the struggles people face and learned how to offer life-changing support. Get Help Now. Follow Us:.

Looking for that right guy

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Finding the Right Guy